Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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