I'm drive I can fine osifer
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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