I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
