The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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