when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
