I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
