today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
