Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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