His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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