I'm lost and stupid without you.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
