Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.

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(514): View more from Quebec

theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero

(514): View more from Quebec

like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick

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(330): View more from Ohio

Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.

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(210): View more from Texas

I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!

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