I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
