ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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