Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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