I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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