I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need to calm my uterus...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
