Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
