just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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