This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
