Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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