I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
