But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
