we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
how does that bad decision feel?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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