The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
