We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
