she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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