She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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