drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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