What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
