hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
