Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize