Soap is not a condiment
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
