I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
