The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
