How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
