If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
