Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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