I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
