mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
this hospital has no fireball
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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