whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
