Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
