We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
