This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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