I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
