Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
