i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
