do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
