Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
