ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
