Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
