My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
