You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
