Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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