The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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