it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
