It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize