I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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