Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
