from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
