Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk is a universal language darling
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
