I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize