I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
