with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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