he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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