i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The ass gains better be worth it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
